Who are you?
Most everyone will ask themselves this question, at least once, possibly multiple times in their life.
In John Hughes’ 1985 classic “The Breakfast Club,” Anthony Michael Hall, who plays the academic Brian, asks this question on behalf of himself and the other students in Saturday detention hall. Hall has been tasked at the end of the movie by Mr. Vernon with writing a 1,000-word essay on who these students think they are.
Hall ponders this enigmatic question while chewing on a pen, with eyes looking up.
“Who are you? WHO are you?” he asks, no one in particular.
What he finishes with is one of the most famous monologues in movie history:
Brian: Dear Mr. Vernon. We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain …
Andy: … and an athlete …
Allison: … and a basket case …
Claire: … a princess …
John: … and a criminal.
Brian: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.
Every person you know sees you through a different lens, and that lens through which they see you is influenced by who they are, and their own experiences. So, you should know who YOU are, and live according to that principle – not who or what others think you are.
Makes sense to me. But in reality, it can be challenging to do this, as we are often imprisoned by societal, cultural, familial and religious dictates.
Who are you?
To get to know oneself and to live according to one’s unique soul imprint, we must develop and practice self-awareness, with is defined as an “ongoing and honest dialogue with your inner voice.”
The only way we can come to know and dialogue with our inner voice though, is to make an intentional decision to walk away from all the noise and distractions, at least for a little while, consistently.
But who wants to spend time alone? And without distractions?
That’s crazy talk …
Is it, though?
Is spending time with yourself and learning what it is you REALLY like to do, and who you REALLY are crazy talk?
In my early 20s, I began this lifelong journey of developing self-awareness. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been sometimes where I really didn’t like myself.
But through the decades-long process, I have learned something pretty profound.
Not only CAN I be my own best friend, I WANT to be my own best friend. Because at the end of the day, and at the end of my life, I want to be able to answer affirmatively to William Shakespeare’s maxim “To thine own self be true.” I want to be able to say unequivocally I didn’t let my heart and soul down.
It is a lesson most of us have to learn the hard way, not letting others’ perceptions and images of who we are define us. And certainly not allowing their wagging tongues to bring us down.
And, taking it one step further, to care enough about ourselves to do those things that are in the best interest of our body, mind, and spirit.
In the end, only you know who you are, what you like, how you feel and how you react to different things. The only voice that matters in how you live your life is yours, and the Creator who put you here.
Who are YOU?
Take time today, and every day, to pose that question to your heart.
And then listen, and act accordingly.
SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada Novak at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.
